01/01/2019: I DID IT

              I was sitting in the Hospital room while my wife was recovering from surgery when all of a sudden my mind went to reminding me of things I did in my past. I know some  people might say it was the devil trying to steal my joy, but that was not the case; sometimes I take my thoughts under control and remind myself of my past. Now I don’t know if you can understand my thoughts on this matter but I will do my best to help you to glean from it.  
            Satan comes in many forms seeking whom he can destroy. One of the ways he comes in is through the mind, thoughts that we have daily. Our thoughts have triggers that bring on whatever we get. Triggers like previous events, someone’s words, smells, sounds and so on. We may not be able to control what triggers come, but we can control what we do with those triggers and those thoughts. “You are what you think?” Scripture tells us that we should think on things above, things from heaven, pure holy, just, righteous and true.  
            So, as I was saying, sometimes Satan comes and brings on past events into our memories to inform us that we are sinners and not worthy of Love, love of any kind, let alone the Love of God. Unworthy of eternal life with God in His kingdom. To convince us that we were so bad that we could never be forgiven. There is a song on Christian radios that tells about how “he is a liar”. We know that it is the devil he is singing about. Satan wants to destroy us at any cost in any way that he can. Now, I do want to reiterate that while I was pondering the thoughts of my past that it was not the enemy bringing the thoughts to my mind, but it was me, myself bringing them on.  
            Why would I do that you might ask; well I am glad you did. I believe it is important to remind ourselves at times of where we came from, what our lives used to be like, things we used to do, speak, listen to. Like it or don’t we all at times tend to judge another; we lie to ourselves and try to make us believe that we are not judging but offering insight. Isn’t that the same thing? So, the way I see it is: If I spend more time looking into my past, I will have less time judging others. What was it that the Bible says: “Who are you to talk about the splinter in a Brothers eye when you yourself have a TREE in your own?” So, you see I am looking at my life and seeing the things that I did. Right, Wrong, or indifferent I am looking at them because I want to.  
            Now, Brother Larry, why would you want to rehash your past life and look at all the ugliness of Egypt? Why bring up the past? There  is an old saying that if you forget the past you are subject to repeat it. And that is the truth. I look to my past to ensure my present, that I don’t make the same decisions that I made back then. If I can see yesterday I can work for today, and if I work for today I may have a better chance for tomorrow. Remember, sometimes God will show us our past to help us get over something in our present, or maybe prepare us for an event that is yet to come.  
            Ignorance comes from the word ignorant, now what does that word mean exactly? Webster’s dictionary defines it this way: lacking knowledge or experience; unaware. As a heathen over the past 40 years I did all that I did in ignorance, not knowing that most of it was considered as sin. Now, I know what it all was and what it meant and I found myself calling on the Name of my Savior Jesus Christ who came into my life and made the most drastic change I had ever experienced. And, now, I am a Child of the King and I know beyond all understanding that I have been redeemed and forgiven for all of my past, present and future because of His Blood.  
            Now, I hope you have more of an understanding as to why I look at my past.    
PRAY THIS PRAYER   Dear Lord, it is with a humble heart that I come to You For Your Forgiveness, and that I might no longer live In ignorance but in understanding, and understanding What the Love and Forgiveness of God is. Have Mercy On my life O Lord for I walk in a sinful world, and am A sinful man/woman. I am in need of a savior, and a Friend. And I Thank You for answering my Prayer. In Jesus Name AMEN!